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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29176716">The only man I've ever loved</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dies/pseuds/Dies'>Dies</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Deathstroke the Terminator (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Multi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:40:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,315</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29176716</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dies/pseuds/Dies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Slade and Wintergreen face one last drama as memories assail both men.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adeline Kane Wilson/Slade Wilson, Slade Wilson/William Randolph Wintergreen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The universe of this fanfiction is part of a mix of several versions of Deathstroke including the solo series of 90, the new 52 and Deathstroke rebirth.<br/>I really wanted to explore the strange connection between Slade and Billy through an alternative story but adapted to the events of most comics. The excerpts introduced in chapter 1 provide a context for the rest of the adventure.<br/>I've written a lot of fanfictions about these two in the last few years but I'm only now starting to publish some of them.<br/>(Also, since this fanfiction has been translated into English, there may be multiple spelling mistakes.<br/>And now, relax and enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>William reached out his hand to Slade with a slight smile on his face. <br/>
"Are you all right? "It was indeed a stupid question. Slade hid his face in his friend's trembling hands. William could feel through the leather of his gloves how the soldier's cheeks had thinned. He had arrived just in time…<br/>
Even with the last of his strength, Slade was not able to smile to Wintergreen . The young man could still smell the serum that had burst under his skin earlier. It had been in his blood for a long time, flowing through his veins like the cruelest of intruders. If only Wintergreen could understand the feeling of having become a stranger to himself, a failed paramilitary experience  after being an unwanted child for so long.  <br/>
"-Billy, please don't leave me here. » His eyes had become almost too pale, underlined by the white locks that had been prematurely sown into his blonde hair. William swallowed his tears, slowly tearing himself away from the terrible sight his friend was offering him. Adeline was waiting at the hospital door, overwhelmed by guilt and fear. Slade couldn't bear the thought alone that his wife would see him in such a pitiful state. Not her. She had never seen him weak. But Wintergreen had. The Englishman closed the door very gently behind him. Little Grant was sitting on the floor, playing carelessly with his little red plastic car. At the age of two and dust, he hadn't had much opportunity to see his father and even if he had, he didn't even understand what was going on. ‘Daddy is testing a special vaccine, because he is the bravest of the soldiers.’ That was what he had been told, and little Wilson had been quick to swallow that explanation without waiting for more details. He picked up a delighted face towards Wintergreen, quickly leaving his toy on the ground and reaching out to him. <br/>
"Uncle Billy! Up! Up!" Says the charming baby, sparks flying out of his big blue eyes. Grant already had ambitions to be as big as his father, so he loved being carried by adults. Wintergreen bent down to take him in his arms. The boy clung to his neck, producing a happy little laugh. Adeline observed the scene from the wall she had leaned against, her eyes inhabited. She and William exchanged a long glance, one questioned with despair, the other answered with a distressing desolation. <br/>
"He wants to go home..." William said after a long silence, interrupted only by the noises of little Grant. Adeline shook her head for a moment, making her beautiful brown curls flutter in passing.<br/>
"I’m not sure Billy... He should stay a little longer in the hospital. At least until the medication takes effect...What do you think? Wintergreen arched an eyebrow. <br/>
-Might as well put a bullet in his head right now... No. He needs to go home. ". Adeline nodded her head gravely, without even noting the brutality of the English man's words.<br/>
Barely an hour later, everyone was out of the hospital for good. Adeline supported Slade as best she could until she got to the car. For his part, Slade hid pain and sorrow under a mask of firmness. Grant watched his father from Wintergreen's arms, his little angel's face gnawed by confusion and incomprehension. Wintergreen placed a loving kiss on the toddler's forehead. <br/>
"Don't worry, Grant, your dad's going to get better soon. "Grant was far too small to suspect the deceptive nature of those comforting adult words, so he soon began to smile again. Wintergreen would have given anything to be naive enough to think Slade would recover from something like that. He wasn't even sure who the man walking in front of him was...<br/>
              </p><p>         ******************************</p><p>    Another night spent in a hospital.  Wintergreen had spent more time in those big white buildings than most people did in a lifetime. The Englishman put the back of his hand to his nose, to smell the clinical odor that would stick to his skin for days on end. He reeked of disinfectant and blood. Much of his body was still suffocating under bandages with a rough and hard touch. It was like a shell that protected his painful flesh and underneath that, his bones were still crumbling. <br/>
  William had lost all sense of time in enemy camps. His days and nights had been punctuated by torture, ever more vicious, rougher and rougher as his mind slipped from the edge of the blade. He had already lost all hope when a masked madman showed up at the enemy's house. Alone. A rifle in his back and a pair of knives. <br/>
  "-So Billy, awake?<br/>
  Slade looked out of the narrow window of the small hospital room. His hair seemed whiter since William had last seen him, as did the short beard he now abhorred. When he turned around, his eyes shone, he smiled like a child at a wonder he could not yet grasp. <br/>
"-I got kicked out of the army, Billy. But that's okay, I have an idea. "William shivered, it didn't bode well. He shook his Head, to signify that he wasn't quite in the right frame of mind to listen to his flamboyant delusions. Slade calmed down a little and, still smiling, sat down at his bedside. Wintergreen hadn't found anything to say yet, so he just stared at the ceiling. The man was so numb that he hardly felt that Slade had grasped his hand, the very hand that had been miraculously spared from torture. He clutched it tightly in his own, as if he feared that his friend might still escape him. <br/>
"I'm... I'm glad I'm here.  Mumbled Slade into his beard. Wintergreen looked at him, an incredulous smile on his damaged lips. He asked his friend with his eyes, his green eyes more animated than they had been for months. Slade didn't add a single word. Expressing his feelings was not part of his routine. But for William it didn't matter, as long as he knew Slade was there.</p><p>              ************************************</p><p> </p><p>   Slade gazed at his son's grave, his forehead wrinkled with grief and fatigue. He had never spent so much time with Grant. Not when the boy was alive, not when he was running through his father's legs, laughing, recounting his latest sporting exploits. Slade was a soldier, then a hunter, then a mercenary. At the same time, his beloved sons had grown up far away from him, forever marked by the loss of a father who suffered his own absence. In silence, supported  by the only man he had failed to scare away.<br/>
    Drops of rain ran down Slade's hair, now completely white. Two steps away from him, William wondered; when had the blonde finally slipped out of those locks? When had his friend stopped smiling? When Slade began to shiver and sniffle in the autumn rain, Wintergreen finally decided to walk towards him. He placed the umbrella over his head and slowly ran his hand down his back. Slade hurriedly wiped the few tears from his cheeks before they mixed with the rain. Wintergreen dabbed at his head with a handkerchief to wipe away most of the water. Slade closed his eyes and let it happen. A full minute passed, then five. After a while, the mercenary finally got impatient and tried to get out of the way.<br/>
-Goddamn it, Billy, I think I've got it now, don't you? he grumbled. Wintergreen smirked. <br/>
-You're not the one cleaning the car... -He replied with a shrug.<br/>
Slade smiled and pushed Wintergreen towards the car in question. William smiled to himself before stealthily bending down to place some flowers on young Grant's grave. A tear came to his eye at the thought of the rambunctious child he too had cherished as one of his own. Grant was truly special, and it was a shame that no one had paid much attention to him until this world had tapped into his innocence to rot him from the inside...<br/>
However, Wintergreen didn't really have time to ponder this. Slade was waiting for him in the car, finally decided to leave for new and desperately dangerous missions. William didn't mind. He liked the danger, he liked Slade. Unfortunately, neither of those things were good for him... He sighed a little before joining his friend. Once inside, he pretended to want to start sponging again. Slade then burst out laughing like he rarely did and his laughter sparked in the night. Wintergreen knew that he was happy in spite of everything.</p><p>                  *********************************</p><p>   The weather was rainy, as it often was in Oxford in the spring. Curled up against the trunk of an oak tree, little William was reading the detective story he had just pilfered from Father's library.  After a good twenty pages, the child had to admit that most of the sentences were lost on him. William may have been pretty smart for his age (he was now eight and a half), but adult entertainment still seemed complicated and boring. The little boy ran across the lawn, mowed to the millimeter, taking care not to crush the pretty flowers that his mother had planted the day before.    Since fine droplets of rain were beginning to split the air, William also had to make sure to protect his father's book under his jacket, no matter how boring it was. It was with his brown hair stuck to his forehead and his shoes full of mud that the child entered the entrance hall, which was as spacious as it was empty, if one forgot the knickknacks and the austere paintings hanging on the walls. The child shivered, not that he was particularly cold. It was that for some time now, there had been a strange and unhealthy atmosphere in the family home. Still very young and naive, William had not yet managed to identify the problem while with the imagination that was due to a child of his age, he came up with only supernatural theories and stories of murder, as he saw in the evening in the television serials. The boy took off his moccasins, pulled his socks up to his knees, and headed for the stairs, trying to blend in with the shadows of the house. The boy didn't expect to be found out by an employee of the house, or even worse, by Father, when he had always wisely agreed not to stick his nose into the adults' business.             </p><p>    As the afternoon drew to a close, the upstairs corridors were already semi-dark. Fortunately, William knew the place like the back of his hand and thus did not need to turn on the light, thing which could have strongly exposed him to be caught red handed. The child took care to walk along the walls and not to get his feet caught in the thick old carpets, and after a while, he arrived at the library door. William took a deep breath before opening the door. Sometimes Father decided to prevent any intrusion by locking the door. If that was the case right now, the boy was going to be in a lot of trouble when the absence of the forbidden novel, and a new one at that, was noticed. But once again, the boy was lucky; the door opened easily. Unfortunately, once inside, the child discovered very quickly that it was better that some doors were locked... <br/>
    William stood petrified, his heart pounding. First, because Father was already in the room, then because he was with a woman, a lady he recognized at first glance, a friend of Mother's who sometimes came for tea. Then because this woman had lost her whole skirt and that Father moved strangely above her. It was only by seeing a kiss that the little boy understood what was happening in front of his eyes. Happy that his presence was not noticed, the child calmly left the room and closed the door behind him.                       <br/>
   Although he was still quite young, William understood the source of this disturbing atmosphere in which everyone was mired around him. Father was doing adult things with other ladies than Mother. The kind of complicated rituals he was only supposed to do with her, and worst of all, he was doing it in her presence, right in the house. As a result, the child felt his naivety die in a corner of his heart and his imagination unravel and give way to a sense of reality. Disgusted by the way his father was destroying their family and especially his poor mother, William began to avoid him and to flee the house at more and more regular intervals. He also couldn't stand to see his mother being torn down by the behavior of a man who had never deserved her, who had always despised her for her Jewish heritage anyway. Yes, from the moment William left the private library, he knew what kind of man he did not want to be, and what kind of man he wanted to become. A man of his word, someone strong, reliable and disciplined. With this in mind, the solution quickly became clear to him: the army.</p><p>           *******************************</p><p> </p><p>    At thirteen, the only thing the kid had to look forward to was that his bastard father hadn't had one too many beers, or that he hadn't brought any drinking buddy home with him. Other than that, he never asked heaven for anything, not even the two times his mother had dragged him to church. Because his poor mother had prayed every time his father had beaten her a little too badly, and that had only served to tire her out a little more, to the breaking point. It was already dark outside, even with the sun, you could only see fields as far as the eye could see, and the forests still beyond. Slade had to walk every morning for two hours to get to the nearest bus stop. Inside the house, a crashing noise sounded. In response, Slade crushed his cigarette at his feet and entered from the back, where the door had been busted for two months. The house stank of smoke, it was to wonder why he still bothered to do that outside, then his father was not fooled, the boy did not even bother to camouflage the smell of the cigarette of his clothes. As he had suspected, his half-brother was waiting for him on the step of the stairs, the mouth in blood and the eyes fogged by the tears. The heavy footsteps of the scum that was their father could be heard on the floor above their heads. Slade bent down to the boy, who was still small and had trouble understanding what was happening to him when his father started to get angry.</p><p>Evidently, he always waited for the kid's mother to go away.<br/>
"-Slade, I... I fell down the stairs... Wade stammered as he looked away. <br/>
-Yeah sure you did, buddy. Second time this week though, tought luck huh? Slade growled as he took him by the arm. He helped his half-brother to rinse his mouth, cleaned his wounds then left to lock himself in their room. In all honesty, Slade's concern for Wade was mostly for the sake of Frannie, Wade's mother. She had always been kind to him and her presence in the house often calmed the mood of his bastard father. Why a woman like that would stay with a shit like him was a mystery to Slade.             <br/>
  Like many nights, Wade took refuge in his half-brother's bed after running into his father in the kitchen. Slade knew very well that his brother hated him. Especially when he snuggled up to him, his body trembling. Because Wade needed him, that when faced with him he was weak, that even though he despised his sons rather fairly when it came to beatings, their father preferred Slade to him.<br/>
  Worst of all, his own mother preferred him. Despite all this resentment and this suffocating jealousy, Wade was still a child. He needed to feel the touch of a human being, to feel protected. And if Slade didn't love him, at least he was getting a little stronger every day, and he was holding out more and more for their father. <br/>
 Their father was coming up the stairs, probably to collapse in bed, completely drunk. <br/>
-Slade... Slade can you hold me please?  Wade asked.<br/>
-Hey, what?  You go too far buddy... <br/>
-Slade please. I'm afraid... <br/>
-Come on, in the state he's in, the old man is going to comatose for the whole week, you risk nothing... There was a long silence, then a violent cracking somewhere in the house. The drunkard swore and Wade began to tremble more and more. Finally, Slade took his little brother in his arms and held him a little reluctantly, until the kid finally fell asleep. Come on, man... a few more years and I can get the hell out of here. Slade fell asleep a few minutes later, with a thought for his mother who  wanted him out of here, more than anything.<br/>
                                            ------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>   The night was burning in the sunlight, Slade's face was frozen in his blood. The young soldier looked up at the guy who had just demolished his attackers for no apparent reason. He could very well have passed in front of them without lingering, preferring to close his eyes to the screams and the noise of the pulpit on which the fists were breaking. And yet he had stopped to save a stranger's life ... Slade grasps his savior's hand suspiciously, eyes squinted, eager to unmask an impending deception. Yet again, Slade found only a suspicious kindness in this oddball. The man took him back to his tent, where he healed his wounds himself. His name was William Randolph Wintergreen. Major in the British Army, in the service of His Majesty. Slade, for his part, had only  pronounced his name, trembling under the man's touch as he applied the disinfectant to his darkened skin. William's hands passed over old wounds, scars left by childhood, which could not escape the eye of an expert. William looked up at Slade with a compassionate look. Slade noticed that they were very green. <br/>
-You have a difficult past, Wilson. sighed the Englishman, putting his hand on his shoulder.<br/>
-You know nothing Wintergreen. Slade muttered as he  looked away. Tears filled his eyes, making him feel stupid. He preferred to blame this unusual reaction on the fatigue and correction he had experienced earlier in the evening. Slade could not get out of Wintergreen's gaze. A stranger who had surrounded him in less than a few hours as if he were just a character in a novel... Was he that predictable? Wintergreen took his chin between his index finger and thumb, very tenderly, as one used to do to children before reprimanding them. Slade did not struggle. He let his hands slide on the cot, next to each knee.<br/>
-Yes, you do... <br/>
Slade watched him for a moment through swollen eyelids, looking for a biting reply. Despite his efforts, he found nothing strong enough and had to physically push him away, albeit very weakly. William continued to look at him, a thin smile lighting up his face in the light of the rudimentary lantern beside the bed. After a moment, he stood up, handed Slade a clean shirt and walked quietly to the exit. <br/>
-Where are you going? Slade asked in a still weak voice. Wintergreen turned around with a smirk on his face and lowered his cap towards his eyes. <br/>
-To bed. It's late and I'm away from my part of the camp. Slade hesitated for a fraction of a second, confused by his own emotions. He didn't want him to leave. Not now. <br/>
-That's why you should stay. Besides, considering what just happened with the guys, we'll probably soon be asked our version of events... He said. Wintergreen tortured him a bit more by passing his leg through the tent opening, his green eyes still darted on Slade. <br/>
-Would you be afraid to sleep alone? he asked.<br/>
- No, I'm just saying that for you, moron. You wouldn't want to get caught after curfew, would you? Slade replied.<br/>
-I won't be told anything and you know it. Listen to me, Slade, I'm not staying unless you're completely honest with me. I hate being lied to. Said William with a squint.<br/>
-You're giving me a fucking headache... Get in or get out, okay? Why are you trying to make me say stuff like that? If he wasn't so tired, Slade probably would've ended up kicking William out.<br/>
-Well, then I'm out. Wintergreen decided to put more of his body through the opening. <br/>
-Wait! Okay, I don't... I just don't want you to go, that's all. Considering what just happened you can understand, can't you?<br/>
-I prefer that... Wintergreen came back to him and lay down. <br/>
-What are you doing? There are other cots. <br/>
-I'm not spending the whole night here. I have my own habits and a much better tent waiting for me. I'll wait until you fall asleep and then I'll leave. <br/>
-With all due respect Major... you are a pain in the ass. Slade sighed before getting under the covers. The contact of the tissue on his bruised skin made him wince.<br/>
-Sleep quickly and shut up. I'll stay as long as it takes. Slade closed his eyes a little reluctantly. He wondered how long it had been since the last time he had shared his bed with someone. He also thought about the fact that he had never slept with a girl before. It was hard to sleep with a brain as hot as his. Slade opened his eyes to observe Wintergreen as discreetly as possible. The Englishman was still lying on his back with his hands folded behind his head. He stared at the ceiling with military rigor. <br/>
-You're not sleeping. You don't even try. Wintergreen said without even bothering to really look at Slade. <br/>
-If I just need a few minutes to get started...  The young soldier answered. Wintergreen let out a slight sigh and closed his eyes for a short moment. There was silence for about ten minutes. Slade's breathing having adapted to sleep, Wintergreen slipped gently on the blankets to get up. At that very moment, Slade groaned in pain. It was to be expected: the pain in his ribs had awakened during the night. The poor boy may have broken one or two of them. William went back to bed, this time right under the covers. He pulled Slade towards him and patted him gently on the head. <br/>
-Hey Slade, it's okay. It hurts now, but you're going to be okay. he said in a soft and reassuring voice. Slade opened big blue eyes on him, fogged with tears.<br/>
-Don't make fun, this is not the time... But will you hold me close to you? For the pain... <br/>
-Excuse me? Wintergreen answered, surprised by his request. Slade moved his hand towards him to put it on his shoulder and nestle his neck in it. <br/>
-Don't make me say it again. It really hurts...  Slade whispered. Wintergreen hesitated before squeezing him, one hand on his upper back and the other placed right in the middle. The Englishman did his best not to hold him too tightly and thus hurt him a little more. For his part, Slade pressed against him as hard as he could, even putting one leg on William's flanks to bring him closer to him. Wintergreen, although puzzled, did nothing to stop the young man from clinging to him. However, it was difficult to blame this unusual behavior on Slade's gestures. After all, the boy was very young, probably suffering from a lack of education. On the other hand, the two men were not that far apart in age, and Wintergreen did not remember being this innocent in his late teens. When Slade placed a kiss on his neck, William's doubts melted like snow in the sun. However, instead of trying to withdraw, he would hold the young man a little stronger in his arms. His hands both moved down to his hips, carefully avoiding touching his ribs. William's surprise intensified when he felt Slade's kisses turn into a bite. The boy was in really big trouble... The Major pulled him away from his now sore neck and looked him straight in the eye. He moved his lips towards his own slowly, then at the last moment he whispered;<br/>
-You were supposed to be asleep, soldier... Slade looked down. He had no idea what had just happened... It just wasn't him, his behavior. And yet he had just given in to unsuspected emotions and impulses with a virtual stranger who could very well have abused or hit him. Worse still, Wintergreen could very well have denounced him to his superiors and then... He would have lost everything. Because he had found something in this man. Something he had been missing all his life. A confidant, a friend, someone to hold him close and protect him from himself... <br/>
-I'm really sorry major. It's just that I'm tired and I... He mumbled awkwardly. <br/>
-Slade. It's all right... I think I really should be going now. Said Wintergreen, always so sweetly. William finally got out of bed, put his shoes back on and put his clothes back on. <br/>
-I'll... I'll have a doctor send for your ribs in the morning. In the meantime, try to get some sleep anyway. He said as he rushed to the exit. Slade stood up on the mattress, almost completely naked. <br/>
- But will we see each other again? Slade asked. Wintergreen turned to him, smiling nervously. He answered with a nod, then left the tent for good, looking feverish. He crossed the camp in sweat, in a hurry. <br/>
For the very first time of his life, Wintergreen was trapped.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Old tears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Memories continue to flow as the end draws near...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I would like to apologise for the huge gap between the release of chapter one and two. It took me more time to finish it than I initially thought! Beside, I hope you'll like it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Slade looked at his own reflection in the mirror, verifying his suit and hair for the seventh time in one minute. The young soldier knew that his fiancée was waiting for him in the next room, chatting tranquilly to her bridesmaids while he was shivering to the very idea of getting officially married.<br/>
Suddenly, he heard someone knocking at the door, two precise and close knocks. A nervous smile fixed itself on his face as the door opened on his best friend. Without thinking twice about it, Slade jumped right in his arms, choked by the strong emotion that swelled his chest. Reunions were always intense between the two men, as if they were truly themselves while together.<br/>
-I can't believe you managed to come anyway! Slade almost screamed, smiling broadly at Wintergreen. The English soldier remained in the arms of his friend, who had overtaken him by many centimeters since their first meeting. He looked at him for a long time, trying to keep the tears from coming up to his eyes, already shining.<br/>
-If I hadn't come, Adeline would have chased me across the continent to make me  apologize. So I might as well come right away! Plaisanta Wintergreen, her voice slightly trembling. This detail did not escape Slade who tried to attract her back to him, even more nervous than before. Wintergreen prevented him by pressing his hands on his broad shoulders . He placed all his attention on his friend's tie, badly knotted, as always...<br/>
-Geez, you'll know how to make it rigth will you? Mumbled the Englishman with a funny look on his face. While Wintergreen was busy retying his tie knot trying to relax the atmosphere, Slade felt a knot of a different kind twisting his guts. The groom finally wince, and once his friend had finished carefully arranging his outfit, he dropped himself on a chair, rather heavily. Wintergreen gave him a worried look before sitting down in front of him.<br/>
-Billy, I don't feel it... What if I'm not up to it?  he sighed heavily. Wintergreen hesitated for a few moments before grabbing his hands firmly, just enough to make Slade raise his thin, clear eyes to him. He had often seen that look, that look of a frightened little boy who had suffered way too much. Wintergreen usually found it hard to face him, always wondering how much he still didn't know about his best friend.<br/>
-Slade, look at me. Wintergreen asked in a calm voice. I've been through my share of failed marriages you know that... And I know enough about marriage to see when a couple is strong enough to succeed or not … Well  you and Adeline are the closest couple I've ever seen. Okay, you're also completely crazy... But I think that's what brings you even closer than most people out there.<br/>
-Um... Thanks, buddy. Slade replied after a short silence. Most of the time his feelings were stuck somewhere in the back of his throat and when they miraculously managed to get out of there, their articulation was really lousy. But that wasn't quite an issue. Wintergreen understood him better than anyone else and he would never blame him for this lack of eloquence. The Englishman took a quick look at his watch, smiling.<br/>
-Come on, big boy, the ceremony is about to begin and Hurricane Adeline might go wild if you don't get there soon! Wintergreen got up from his chair in a v, ready to attend the wedding of his closest friends. However, as he turned around to smile at Slade, he discovered a deep melancholy on the soldier’s face.<br/>
- Okay Slade... It's going to be all right, you just have to get into the church and once you're-<br/>
-No, that's not the problem... Slade said, abruptly, as  he stood up. Wintergreen couldn't help noticing that his friend was remarkably handsome in his wedding suit. This thought became even more pervasive when Slade stood right in front of him. He was now so close that the Englishman could feel his  breath on his face. The groom grabbed him by the shoulders and began to scrutinize him far too intensely.<br/>
-I just want you to know that even though I love Adeline and I'm marrying her today... It won't change... the importance I give you. He managed to articulate. The stress was perceptible in each of his words. Wintergreen embraced him once more, praying that Slade would not pay attention to his beating heart.<br/>
-Nor for me, my friend... And I wish you and Adeline all the happiness in the world..." he replied, almost on the verge of crying. Never Wintergreen could have thought that this marriage would awaken so many things in him.<br/>
-I can’t believe it , you girls are still cuddling? said a beautiful loud voice right in front of the door. Wintergreen let go of Slade to give the pretty bride a falsely desperate look.<br/>
Slade's jaw dropped in awe when he finally discovered Adeline in her wedding dress. She looked dangerous and fatal in spite of her pure white dress which married her forms and her fine musculature. The woman of his life. His wife in just a few hours when the papers would be filled out at the town hall and they would swear their fidelity before the law and then God.<br/>
-My darling, you are... Stammered the young man, blushing.<br/>
-Angry. We're already ten minutes behind schedule... Damn it Wintergreen, I told you to hurry. If we can't count on you then we're all screwed! Adeline cried, her fists on her hips. Wintergreen walked towards her giggling and was the first to leave the room.<br/>
-Come on kids, we clearly don't have time to yell at each other anymore. We have a wedding to celebrate so let's go. He said from the hallway. The bride and groom followed him, both tense but choked with joy. Wintergreen watched them walk towards him hand in hand and forced himself to smile as a strange sorrow lifted his heart. I beg you, dear Adeline, you should never break his heart... If only you knew how fragile he was.<br/>
*************************************************<br/>
It was a Wednesday evening, Slade had locked himself in the bathroom again, without a single word. Wintergreen had to go out for an urgent matter in the morning and when he came back, he discovered with horror that Slade had spent the whole day without leaving the bathroom doing God knows what... When Slade was able to get out of the hospital, Wintergreen committed to take him in and help him get better. But while the Englishman knew that the task would probably be one of the hardest things he had ever done, he couldn't have been prepared for Slade to get himself into such a state... If Slade had gone through deep periods of depression since that damn para-military experience, he had never seemed so... Destroyed. After begging Slade to open the door, Wintergreen had to break it down so he could rescue his friend. Once inside, he found his friend collapsed on the floor next to a puddle of vomit and thank God he didn't have his face in it... Wintergreen rushed over to his friend to get him up and check that he was still breathing. His anxiety went down a notch when he heard his friend coughing to get some air. He squeezed him for a moment and took a look at the box of painkillers that had spread all over the black tile floor. If Slade had not been a superman, he would have succeeded in killing himself.<br/>
-Damn it, Slade, what the hell did you do? You could have killed yourself... Murmured Wintergreen. The man started to run a bath for his friend and helped him undress. Slade barely moved, struggling to stand. For a month now, the man had been expressing himself almost exclusively in grunts. Wintergreen sometimes wondered if Adeline's bullet had caused serious damage to his brain... The Englishman helped Slade climb into the bathtub after the water rose and washed away the traces of vomit with a washcloth. In front of Wintergreen's desperate look, Slade finally decided to give him an explanation.<br/>
-My eye was... really hurting this morning. I just wanted to calm the pain... The English man tried to smile nicely at Slade to reassure him.<br/>
-Oh really ? I will take a look right away then, however I'm sure it's nothing. Although he knew very well that Slade's pain was purely psychological, he could see that his friend did believed  that his pain was indeed physical. He then moved his hand towards the bandages that covered Slade's face.<br/>
-Maybe we should wait for the nurse to come by tomorrow, you really don't want to see this..." Slade growled as he stepped back into the bathtub. Wintergreen patted him gently on the back before pulling him towards him.<br/>
-Slade, believe me, whatever you're hiding under there, I've seen worse stuff on the battlefield. He said  in a soft voice. As Slade was too exhausted to protest, he let his friend take off his bandages, something that had never happened once since he arrived home. Wintergreen had to stop wincing as he discovered the hollow that now replaced his friend's right eye. The scar was still relatively fresh and ugly, but as the man had suspected, it was no worse than what he had seen in wartime. However, Wintergreen had to admit that there was something deeply sad and unhealthy in the wound... Just by looking at it, he was overcome with an inexplicable feeling of recoil. Wintergreen felt deeply ashamed to feel this way when he saw Slade's face when the man had so dreaded the fateful moment when he would have to reveal himself to him. Wintergreen passed his hand just above the wound, touching the contours of the hollow as he carefully disinfected the wound. Slade watched him with his unique eye. It was as if he was looking at him from a completely different world... As Wintergreen placed clean bandages on that pale face, Slade continued to watch him, still trapped between in a dark place of this shattered souls of his. When the Englishman had finished tending to his friend's bath and wound, he helped him out of the tub and into comfortable clothes. As he walked him back to the guest room, Slade became agitated again.<br/>
-Billy, I'd rather sleep with you tonight. Slade said quietly. Wintergreen sighed, knowing it wasn't a question.<br/>
-Okay, buddy, I understand, but you're going to have to start sleeping alone again soon... As usual, Slade responded with a growl. The mercenary then rushed to his friend's room before he changed his mind. He slipped under the warm blankets, waiting for Wintergreen to feed his (horrible) hairless cat to join him. When the Englishman entered his room, Slade could see with horror that he was holding the cat in his arms, and that worst of all, the animal was wearing a black turtleneck to protect him from the cold. Slade gave his friend a look of outrage.<br/>
-Billy. You leave that thing outside.<br/>
-First of all, it's not "a thing,"  His name is Reginald. Second, his basket is in my room, so it's more his room than yours anyway. Slade sighed deeply as Reginald leapt from his master's arms to curl up in his deluxe basket at the other end of the room. Silence fell again, disturbed only by the distant purr of the cat and the noise of the clothes Wintergreen was taking off to put on his robe. Finally when the Englishman reached his bed, he fell asleep almost immediately, right in front of Slade. By the light of the moon, the mercenary realized for the first time how tired his friend looked. He stroked his face with his thumb, knowing that his friend would not wake up for so little. Tears came to his eye at the sudden realization that he was dragging Billy down with him in his fall... He couldn't lose him... Now that was all he had. Slade moved closer to his friend to hug him and then gently kissed his forehead, wrinkled by anxiety even in his sleep. For him he should get back in control...<br/>
The next morning Wintergreen woke up after a full night, the first in months. With his eyes still swollen, the Englishman quickly discovered that Slade had got up before him. Wintergreen was slightly startled when his (beautiful) cat jumped on the bed to come and purr in his arms. Although not the smartest cat, Reginald was the most affectionate pet William ever had. As soon as the Englishman felt bad, Reginald would find a way to cheer him up by rubbing his little naked head against his own. No matter what Slade or the women he frequented could say, Reginald was more than worth all the money that was spent on his well-being. As he walked down the stairs with his cat in his arms, Wintergreen expected the worst about Slade... He was even more surprised to discover that Slade was sitting quietly at the kitchen table and that on top of that, he had prepared breakfast and got dressed. Really dressed.<br/>
-I hope you like burnt waffles. Slade said to him with a big smile. The man folded up his newspaper and stood up to kiss Wintergreen on the cheek. He also stroked Reginald's head , a pretext for tearing him from his master's arms and putting him on the floor.<br/>
-Hi ugly, I put some tuna in your bowl. Slade joked. The mercenary placed himself behind Wintergreen to place a kiss on his bare neck. The Englishman did not move a bit as he was paralysed by surprise. Although it was not uncommon to see Slade go from one psychological state to another overnight, the Englishman was not even sure that his friend would recover from what had happened.<br/>
-Billy, I want to get back in business and I need you to find me a new assignment. Slade revealed  with a more serious look. His hands slipped slowly towards his friend's boxer shorts, inexorably...<br/>
-Are you sure this is what you want? Wintergreen murmured. Slade passed his hand over the protrusion in the boxer shorts, touching the fabric and the taut skin that was hiding underneath. It had been an eternity since Slade had tried to touch it beyond a simple hug. It was back when he got engaged to his girlfriend at the time and Slade had not yet met Adeline. Wintergreen had panicked at the idea of becoming like his father and Slade had reluctantly respected his choice...<br/>
-I only have two things left now that I've ruined everything with Adeline and the boys. You and Deathstroke. Slade said. If I don't hold on to that, I'm going to lose everything and I can't take it. Wintergreen shivered when he was warned by a metallic sound that Slade was undoing his belt, always with the same slowness. It was almost torture. Before the mercenary could get anything inside of him, Wintergreen turned around with a big smile on his face.<br/>
-Stop it... Not in front of Reginald you horrible human being.</p><p>                          *************************************************<br/>
The Swedish nightclub was dark and suffocating with brutal sounds. Slade had just completed a mission ; a dozen gangsters three buildings away from there. A few stab wounds in the heart and it was over. When Slade had come to find Wintergreen in the nightclub, his hands were still covered with blood... If the room hadn't been plunged into darkness and the people around them hadn't been completely drunk and drugged, it would surely have created panic. Initially, the two friends had gone to the bathroom to try to clean up all the blood. It was only afterwards that things got out of hand. William couldn't even remember how he found himself half lying on the toilet sink, on his stomach, with his pants on his knees. After completing a successful mission, Slade became even more insistent than usual, not that Wintergreen was necessarily unhappy about it... Then the mercenary knew exactly knew what to do. A few kisses in the neck and light bites were enough for the Englishman to draw his friend's body against his own. Only, it was neither the time nor the place, and yet the few men who entered the toilet did not seem especially shocked to see two people kissing on the sink. They must have been too far away to care... Or they didn't want to start a figth with Slade. Wintergreen grabbed the edge of the sink while Slade was going deep inside him. When Slade was in this state, his strokes were always violent and passionate, almost as if he was fighting. If Wintergreen regretted ravage him letting him wake up the next morning, at the time all he wanted was to be able to feel it inside him as intensely as possible. Let it leave marks on his body at least for a while... Slade grabbed his hair to lift him up a little, then kissed him on the neck. After a dozen more blows between the English man's kidneys, Slade finally enjoys, letting himself sink into William's entrails. The mercenary helped his friend clean up, kissing him again in the neck. When Wintergreen stood up, he was already struggling to walk normally. Slade looked at him with a look of guilt.<br/>
-Sorry man, I came on too strong again... Apologized the mercenary, pulling away from him a little.<br/>
-Don't apologize... Wintergreen kissed Slade in the middle of that unhealthy toilet, his body still full of shivers and pleasure. Why did it have to be so good?<br/>
Later, on the way back to the hotel, Slade took the wheel, exceptionally, while Wintergreen was dozing with his head on his shoulder. In the back of the car, their Swedish informant had been looking at them with a big smile since he had found them at the exit of the nightclub. Slade sometimes gave him threatening glances in the rear-view mirror to try to wipe that smile off his face, without success.<br/>
-Why are you smiling like that? Slade finally asked, his hands clenched on the steering wheel. The informant got back in his seat, little afraid of the mercenary.<br/>
-I was just wondering if you two had been together for a long time. replied the young informant. Slade almost choked to death while Wintergreen had fallen asleep for good.<br/>
-Look, kid, I don't know what you've been thinking, but we're not together. We're close, yeah, but that's it. Slade replied in a low voice. As Slade said those words, he realized that they sounded terribly wrong... And yet he had told the truth. In his place, Wintergreen would probably have said the exact same thing. The informant continued to smile at him.<br/>
-Yet you are a couple. And you love each other. Then it's obvious that you fuck at least once in a while. Slade turned to the young informant with a false sense of outrage.<br/>
-There was never any question of a love relationship between us. Period. And don't worry about that anymore. The informant looked up and miraculously said nothing the whole way. For his part, Slade couldn't help but reflect on his relationship with Wintergreen and question himself.<br/>
After they arrived at the hotel parking lot, Slade had decided to carry Wintergreen to his room rather than wake him up. Once in the room, Slade put William on the bed and naturally, he began to watch him sleep, lying next to him. The mercenary played with his locks and gently ran his fingers over his face... Wintergreen finally woke up to the touch of his friend. He kept his hand in his own for a moment, a small tired smile on his face. Slade stood up on one elbow, looking preoccupied. William sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his eyes, searching for something to say despite his foggy mind, in vain.<br/>
-What are you and I doing?<br/>
-Slade for God's sake... Do you think now is the right time to talk about this? We're both tired and... It's just ridiculous to have this conversation after so many years. Wintergreen couldn't help but feel annoyed by Slade's behavior. The mercenary stood up abruptly, apparently unhappy with his friend's response. William massaged his temples, already exhausted by this senseless discussion.<br/>
-Why, why do you have to try to analyze everything and look for loopholes? Wintergreen shouted. What do you want me to say, Slade? You're my best friend and I... I love you, you know. Maybe our relationship is unconventional, but it's always been that way. When Slade turned to him, his eyes were shining with tears.<br/>
-That's not it Billy, but I'm going to end up breaking you, just like I broke Adeline and the kids.<br/>
-How can you know that? It's been three years since you've seen them... Wintergreen sighed. There was no reproach in her voice. It was only the truth.<br/>
-I don't need to have them in front of me to know that... And I don't want that to happen to you so I'm asking you once again: What are you and I doing? Because I know how it's going to end if it goes on like this. How you're going to end up if you get too attached. At the end of his sentence, Slade's voice sounded like it was about to break. Wintergreen stood up to try to take Slade in his arms.<br/>
-Damn it Slade... You're shaking... Come on, it's over. William whispered and patted him on the back. The two men sat on the bed while Slade calmed down. Finally, Wintergreen kissed him on the forehead and looked him straight in the eyes.<br/>
-I love you. And nothing is going to happen to me... Slade got up on the bed again.<br/>
-Billy, please don't promise me that... I forbid you to make a promise I can’t hold....</p><p>                     *************************************************</p><p>William shivered when he heard Slade slam the door behind him. He was not sure anymore he knew that man. That icy blue eye that he sometimes marveled at was now empty of substance. Slade walked into the living room, his blade tinged with red and a smile on his face. If seeing his friend soaked in the blood of his enemies had never really frightened Wintergreen, it was no longer the case. In his defense, it had to be said that the Englishman had never seen so much hatred and rage directed at a single man. Soon revenge would have finished devouring him, only once he had taken revenge or his son's murderers had fallen. William turned his eyes away from him for a moment, preferring to concentrate on the sun setting through the window.  Without saying anything, Slade shrugged his shoulders and went upstairs, probably to take a shower. Wintergreen waited until he heard the water running and then, with a slow and indecisive step, he left the house, still without a word. He simply had nothing more to say. Nothing that wasn't incredibly painful and didn't tear his throat out. At the wheel of his car, William cried for the first time in centuries. He wiped away his tears distractedly, holding the wheel with one hand. The man couldn't pull himself together, thinking about anything other than the fear that had exploded in his chest as he realized that he might not be able to save Slade. Wintergreen drove for hours, always looking straight ahead, at a speed just over the limit. He never took a turn, as if he was trying to go around the earth in a straight line. In the end, William didn't know where he was going. He just knew he was gone. Maybe for good…</p>
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